The Obsolescence of Masculinity, Concluded

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on" …

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- “If,” by Rudyard Kipling

So. Is it over? Have we been emasculated? Is there any place left in our world for the old ideals of manhood? Is the very term “manhood” obsolete in this age of feminism and political correctness?

It is tempting to think so, for believing it frees us from the responsibility to do anything about it. We can sit back on our sofas and watch the football game or daydream to the theme of Fight Club. We can abandon the pretense and allow ourselves to be used where we are placed—passive sentence structure for terminally passive lives.

If you are nodding your head in resignation, you’ve already lost.

If, instead, a spark inside you lights at the thought of passivity, then perhaps there may be hope yet. The world is still a dark and very dangerous place, though now the darkness lurks further beneath the surface and the dangers are more subtle ones. Our culture’s need for true masculinity is all the more greatly felt simply because masculinity is more rarely seen.

So what is a real man? How is a real man different from the “average guy” and his pack? Simply put, it is a matter of growth. The “average guy” is still a boy; only those who have achieved true masculinity can be classified as “men.”

A boy wishes to be strong. A man strives to become strong through physical discipline and training.

A boy wishes to be smart. A man practices intellectual discipline to broaden his mind.

A boy wishes for someone to depend upon him. A man protects the weak because they are weak, not because he needs their weakness.

A boy hates civilization for keeping him from his manhood. A man takes responsibility for his own actions and his own state and thus is a man.

A boy wants everything he sees, and defines himself by what he owns. A man’s possessions are the result of his own discipline in labor; he needs none of them.

A boy tries to “be tough” and not show his feelings, to the point of being harsh and uncaring. A man shows his feelings, but is emotionally resilient—there will be times when those around him need him to be strong, and in those times he will be immovable.

A boy wants to be tough, and does foolish things to try to prove that he is. A man doesn’t need to prove himself, but also doesn’t need comfort—if something in his life requires intense pain to achieve, he will undergo it without complaint.

A boy wants to be respected; he acts in order to gain that respect and fit in. A man does as his principles and personal desires dictate, without needing the respect of others. Interestingly enough, his lack of need for respect usually generates far more respect than the boy’s actions ever will.

A boy needs many things, and consumes them without appreciating their quality. A man appreciates the qualities and subtleties of many things, but needs none of them.

A boy acts on his whims and on the pressure of his pack; what he does, he does to impress others or to fulfill the needs of the moment. A man acts on his principles, and does not deviate from them.

A boy, upon being informed of a flaw in his character, convinces himself that the accuser is wrong and acts defensively. A man acts upon the criticism. Self-deception is lost with boyhood.

A boy wants to destroy the shackles that hold him back from manhood. A man has the courage to realize that the only thing holding him back is his own apathy.

Maybe it’s time to stop fantasizing about destroying a society that is emasculating us. Maybe it’s time to stop worrying about what “they” are doing to us, period. Maybe it’s time to start doing something ourselves. Get off the couch, turn off the television, and let go of all the things you don’t need.

Civilization is waiting.